I’m only ~6 months into this “new mom” thing, but I wrote it all down so that when I move past #newmomlife, I remember what made me feel loved and to treat others that way. This is [my] list!
As a new mom, I LOVED it when I heard:
1. “Can I bring you something or watch her for an hour?” (Actually useful and will give me some relief!!)⠀
2. “Do you want to get out of the house for our hangout, or would coming to you be easier?” (Thank you for meeting me where I’m at – literally!)⠀
3. “This was helpful for me! It might or might not be for you, but just thought I’d share 😊.” (Acknowledging that I might do things differently makes me feel comfortable to come to you.)⠀
4. “How can I pray for you?” (So life-giving to know someone is praying for me and allows me to share the harder parts.)⠀
5. “What have you loved about being her mom so far?” is a great way for me to get out of my head and remember my blessings.
I really, really, disliked it when I heard:
1. “Just wait till you have two.” (Do not invalidate my current struggles with comparison and what if I’m not wanting more?)⠀
2. “Oh, that’s going to happen a lot more.” (Thanks for nothing useful or encouraging!)⠀
3. “What happened to me was worse.” (One-upping = never okay.)⠀
4. “You look great for having a baby!” (Baby weight is *NOT* a bad thing!)⠀
5. “We are running late.” (I’ve planned according to the time we said we’d meet with feeding & diapers. Please be on time when friends have newborns!)
Most new moms are trying, really hard. We are healing physically, trying to ascertain where we are emotionally, and fighting for our mental health. So when people come at us with words, they can impact one way or another. Please choose the loving, empowering, encouraging route! 💓💓💓