Saturday, August 15, 2020

Halfway Already?! Reflecting At 20 Weeks Pregnant

Happy Thursday! How’s quarantine going for you? For me, the days are slow, but the weeks are INSANELY fast. Does anyone else feel like this? I have no idea how I’m 20 weeks pregnant with this second babe. When people ask me if this pregnancy is different than my first, the answer is a resounding YES.

20 Weeks Pregnant Reflections…

So far, with this one, I’ve had zero nausea, zero cravings besides Ramen noodles and dumplings, and zero thyroid/heart issues. But then also, with our first, I thought through a creative way to tell my hubby. And with this one, I told him outright. With our first, I had all day to work still and hours to daydream. With this one, I’m swamped between #myswirlgirl and work, and sometimes only remember this one when I take my prenatal vitamins or sleep on my side.

I remember with #myswirlgirl, I googled what my body was going through every week and checked my Flo app (yes, that’s what it’s actually called :D). With this one, I have checked my “week-by-week” app a handful of times. Everything was new, rose-colored, and almost naïve the first time around. But with this one, I was on bed rest for weeks, worried I was losing this baby as I bled out clot after clot for days. With our first, I prayed only joyfully. With this one, I’ve also prayed desperately. The first time around, I wasn’t scared after the first eight weeks and trusted God. With our second, my trust in God’s protection was shaken at 12 weeks, and I still have to hand over these fears to God continuously.

I shopped like a wild woman (for me and the baby HAHA) as soon as I saw the positive result the first time. This time around, I bought a couple of onesies just this week. With our first, we didn’t get any genetic testing and found out the gender through ultrasound. This one had all of the tests and we found out the gender through a phone call. With our first, the anxiety of impending parenthood was significant. With this one, we aren’t breaking a sweat.

The Two Biggest Lessons So Far…

The two biggest lessons for me in the past 20 weeks are that A. even if I pass the highly regarded as safe ’12 weeks,’ nothing is in my control and B. I cannot feel guilty that my attention is so split because I am also working full-time and taking care of #myswirlgirl. Deep down, I know any strange guilt I feel about not giving this babe hours of daydreaming will leave once they come into my life.

What’s been the same? The sense of undeniable awe with every kick. The thankfulness with every day I get to carry this one—the unbelievable joy in our hearts. The smiles that take over our faces when we pick up the new onesies that came in this week and spent some time dreaming before we were needed for a diaper change haha. 20 weeks pregnant already, and 20 weeks to go.

We can’t wait, we can’t wait, we can’t wait.

Cheers,

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