Tuesday, September 27, 2022

[No. 19] Love Is Not Self Seeking

What is love? Love is not self seeking.
Crazy thought right?!
Love is actually not about what YOU get out of it.
It’s not “If I x, then he has to y.”
No, it’s not a sale or bargain.
It’s not about making connections that help you in the future,
and it’s not putting in the bare minimum effort to keep that relationship afloat.
It’s not forgetting text messages, assuming they will call,
or reaching out once a year in the form of a mass-produced Christmas card.
Love is about what you can do for that person.
It’s outdoing one another in joy.

You shouldn’t need someone to love them.
I repeat, someone does not need to be useful to you, for you to love them.
The other day my husband was appreciating a friend of mine by saying,
“She loves you so well. She consistently appreciates you and goes out of her way for you more than most of your friends.”
That really stuck with me because he was so right.
She didn’t love me because she needed me, found me useful, or expected x,y, and z from me.
I feel that way with my husband too.
It is a joy for him to love me and he sets the bar high for me to love him.
He shows me that the less self seeking I am, the more I freely love him.
Is it hard to do consistently?
Yes, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

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Header photo by Lindsey Mueller Photography.

Interested in reading more?

Love Is Seeking Harmony      Love Is Fighting With Respect     Love Is Giving Generously


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