So we left London almost a month ago to move back to Austin, TX. You’d think I would have settled in by now, but nerp, I haven’t. If I’m being honest, the reason I don’t feel settled at all is because I am scared. The general climate in the U.S.A., has been anything but welcoming. Reading the chaotic news has me paranoid everytime I try to step out of my home. Seeing people I respect on both the right and the left at each other’s throats has me pulling out my hairs, one by one. I just can’t understand how there is so much anger/bias/hate in people’s hearts.
Then again, it is much easier to hate than it is to love. Hatred can come from one person affecting you, or even an ideology you’re brought up with. But love, true love, cannot happen without effort. Most days I wake up, stare at the ceiling and wonder why I live in a country where I can’t walk around without fear. These thoughts follow me into the mirror as I brush my teeth and into my reflection in my morning coffee. They are my shadow at the grocery store and my last sight before sleep.
But then this morning I woke up with an iron conviction that enough is enough. I need to remember that MY GOD didn’t and doesn’t sit in despair. He loved even his haters so deeply that they were stunned. He opens eyes, heals hearts, and changes lives with his overflowing love. Why do I doubt him so much in this moment? When did he ever change his faithfulness? Duh Shruthi, He never changed. I did. I felt hopeless because it’s easier to keep expectations low so I’m not hurt if they’re not “met”. Here I am asking God to give trust and hope in him, and here He is giving me opportunities to trust and hope in Him.
H o p e in that which is unseen.
T r u s t that His perfect love drives out fear.
“When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.” Psalm 56:3