[No. 1] Getting past the past : takes wanting to heal your broken heart.
We’ve all done it—put on dramatically sad songs and wallowed in the pain we are left with after someone breaks our heart (shatters it, puts it through a paper shredder, you know what I mean). When I finally pulled myself out of that depressing rut, I felt intense anger, almost hate. Nah, who am I kidding; it was certainly hate. But we all know hate is similar to drinking poison and hoping the other person is affected. After months (maybe years?) of moping around, I had to snap out of it. Nothing was going to get better until I stopped playing the victim and started taking action. How did I do that? Prayer.
Prayer is not like a new outfit or a new hairdo, where you feel great on one layer, but then it quickly fades. It’s not like a promotion, where your pride and busyness briefly bandage the feelings you don’t want to address. It’s not like traveling, which heals you deeper with every new experience, but takes you away from everyday life. Prayer is aggressive in bringing out deeply suppressed emotions, here and now. It shines a brilliant light on those words that are floating in the back of your mind. It’s messy, responsive, soul saving & has the ability to heal you beyond belief. It may not change the other person, but it will certainly change you.
You simply cannot wish well for someone for an extended period of time while you are harboring hate. I would sit at home for what seemed like hours, dwelling on the hurt he had caused me…and that got me nowhere. When I had the mindfulness to refocus my mind every time I thought of him, and instead choose to pray to my God for him (yes, I thought I was crazy too), that’s when the true healing began. Don’t get me wrong; I think it’s great to take care of yourself, work hard, and explore the world. But at the end of the day, we can’t stick a bandage over, avoid, or run away from heartbreak if we want to heal our broken heart.
Getting harder and more cynical only affects your ability to love again in the future. We have to heal our hearts in a way that makes us stronger but not harder. Need help on how to pray? Drop me a comment below; I’d be happy to help.