Love is knowing your needs. Since my husband started his new job, I see him less. I know he loves his profession, and I am thrilled he does. Buuuut I struggled with the transition of not working from home with him anymore. I also not-so-intelligently thought to keep it all to myself. I wanted to be only a supportive and encouraging wife… but all that resulted in was me blubbering, “I MISS YOU” in-between tears (major hot mess express). And you know the craziest part? He missed me too.
When we want to be secure and stable for the other person, pushing down our needs seems like the answer. But actually, it can have an adverse effect. There’s certainly a point where you can focus too much on your own needs, but if you’re ignoring critical needs of your own to serve the other person, those feelings will manifest in other places in your relationship.
If you are going through a change whether that’s a new home, job, family, etc., and you need more time, patience, etc., from that relationship, just communicate that. Make a plan.
Our solution? Wake up early every morning and have coffee and conversation time together. That makes this “quality time love language” gal very happy. So tell me, do you know your needs? Do you communicate them?
Photography by Jared Lichtenberger