[No. 31] Love Is Secure in All Relationships

Love is secure. Fact: the more secure you are with who you are, the better you can love others. Think about where you ask for reassurance most in your life. That’s where you are most insecure. That awkward ache isn’t going anywhere until you love yourself exactly the way you are. I encourage myself out loud with words of truth and prayer anytime I start tearing myself down mentally. It’s been hard to practice, but the more I do, the smaller my self-doubts.

Healthy, romantic love is also stable love. To the people who use how “in love” they are as an excuse for acting crazy insecure, please for Pete’s sake (who’s Pete though?) just stahp. Sorry to burst them bubbles, but no, it’s not romantic. Contrary to the movies, you don’t get extra points for fighting hard and making up with large romantic gestures. If anything, you’re playing a game. And last time I checked, games don’t last very long.

On the friend side, can we all stop comparing and be secure in our friendships just the way they are? Can it be completely okay if one friend is fitter or more successful or more ambitious or more [insert anything here]? Can we be secure in who we are and celebrate our friends’ successes, strengths, and joys? Can we be confident in our love for ourselves and the people around us?

Photography by Jared Lichtenberger

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