I have a way better memory than my hubster (seriously lolz, just ask him) but something I learned is that I can’t bring up past incidents when we are talking about the present.
For example, when he’d leave wet towels on the floor, I‘d keep quiet and let it chill it in the back of my mind.
Then, if he did it a fourth time I would bring up allllll the other times, and he would be blindsided like “dear God woman they’re just towels…” but I would state facts from prior incidents like BAM BAM BAM.
Oh yeah, I’d bring along the frustration from those incidents too.
I was hurting the situation more than helping by keeping quiet the first three times and then bringing it all up on the fourth.
And that’s not fair to him!
So, if you’ve got an issue and you genuinely can’t let it go then you need to address it then and there.
Put away the “I’m fine,” “whatever,” and “You ALWAYS…”. Instead, make changes to serve each other and grow in patience.