[No. 41] Love is: letting farts go. WHAT? Did she mean to say frustrations? Fears? Feels? Nah fam, I’m talking about a different, very important F-word. Farts. WHEN IS IT OKAY TO FART?! Every week, I write about characteristics of healthy, real love but what about f-a-r-t-s in relationships? (How many times can I insert ‘fart’ into this post?) How do we do it? Outside? Restroom? While playing loud music? Elevator? Car? I’ll tell you a story about our first encounter with the elusive fart.
Five years ago, Hubster (then boyfriend) was an hour late to pick me up for our date. I was FURIOUS, sitting on the balcony, writing something in my journal like, “Omg. So late. Ugh. Wth. Is he standing me up? Ugh.” He ran up to me apologizing that he fell asleep at his architecture studio because he pulled an all-nighter. I knew that made sense rationally but still wanted to hold onto my anger (#DIVA) and sat down on the stairs fuming. He came over to me, held my hand, and inadvertently let out an ever so ‘delicate’ fart.
I don’t think either of us had EVER laughed that hard in our lives (mascara running down my cheeks laughing) and needless to say, the anger was “no longer in the air.” So, no, this post isn’t actually about farts BUT it’s about the fact that anger is so not productive and holding onto anger is WAY WORSE than a lingering fart. In fact, if you’re the one who holds onto anger in conflict even when the other person has apologized, you my friend, are worse than a very pungent fart.